Spirit, Essence, and thepoet...
Many people that I encountered would either find me interesting and irresistible or they would find me very hard to understand and unpredictable. A new friend of mine would try to understand why I am doing this to myself.
When I was very young, I made this promise that I’d like my name to have a meaning. And my name is "Diwa". In English, it means "essence" or "spirit". He abrupt what I was about to say and assumed that I never gave my name a meaning of who I am. I gave him a smile and answered I already did.
Essence - I am almost everything that I can be. I can be a bad ass; I can be a good-goody; I can be your dream girl; I can be your worst nightmare; I can be the very person that you want to be; cold and heartless; warm and loving; annoying and irritating; thus, eliminating the first thought of defining who I really am. I am a walking contradiction that one would ever meet.
Spirit - As this new friend of mine walked me home we had a conversation. The conversation started out asking me if I am happy of what the day had offered me today. My officemate dragged me out of the office just to feel good because I was sad about what my love told me. I said that I am somewhat happy although I don’t smile that much only when I am really and truly happy. He then asked me what my blessings for the day were. I enumerated them and that was it. He still tried to look at me if I’m happy and that he doesn’t want me to be mistreated on what my situation is at the moment then he’d give this example of how he was treated the same way from a friend he liked. Still, why am I punishing myself?
I told him that he was in the same mirror situation that happened before but just the other way around and there has no point of argument. The people, in general, want to have the things that they can’t have. Some people would be lucky enough and ends up getting every thing that they’d wish and hoped for; some would end up with nothing and just a bucket full of pain, hate, sorrow, and regret. If people wants to involve themselves in my situation then go, I’m not going to stop you but don’t put it in my conscience.
I may not look as happy as I should be; one point of argument, after the movie "Wedding Date" it wasn’t really helping on my part because the love of my life is somewhere that I can’t go to. He doesn’t want me there. I miss him terribly and all I could do is just wait for him and try to be more understanding. I do long for him; I desire to see his face, to see his smile, to be with him wherever he is. If only he’d let me in, I’d try to make him feel happy. Give my love a massage or something; give comfort and let him know that things are good. I told my friend that I know my situation very well... its just that the situation doesn’t have any specific emotion for it so I’m just plain.
He then told me that he envies me or rather admires me that I can be so cold and so detached at times when it is needed but still friendly enough not to ignore him.
thepoet – Here I go again...calling you...everyday. Would it be wrong to say that I’m not being cold to myself or being cold to my heart? Would it be wise to say that I was wrong to wait for a few more days, weeks, or months? I’m still waiting my love... just like I promised or have you forgotten.
When I was very young, I made this promise that I’d like my name to have a meaning. And my name is "Diwa". In English, it means "essence" or "spirit". He abrupt what I was about to say and assumed that I never gave my name a meaning of who I am. I gave him a smile and answered I already did.
Essence - I am almost everything that I can be. I can be a bad ass; I can be a good-goody; I can be your dream girl; I can be your worst nightmare; I can be the very person that you want to be; cold and heartless; warm and loving; annoying and irritating; thus, eliminating the first thought of defining who I really am. I am a walking contradiction that one would ever meet.
Spirit - As this new friend of mine walked me home we had a conversation. The conversation started out asking me if I am happy of what the day had offered me today. My officemate dragged me out of the office just to feel good because I was sad about what my love told me. I said that I am somewhat happy although I don’t smile that much only when I am really and truly happy. He then asked me what my blessings for the day were. I enumerated them and that was it. He still tried to look at me if I’m happy and that he doesn’t want me to be mistreated on what my situation is at the moment then he’d give this example of how he was treated the same way from a friend he liked. Still, why am I punishing myself?
I told him that he was in the same mirror situation that happened before but just the other way around and there has no point of argument. The people, in general, want to have the things that they can’t have. Some people would be lucky enough and ends up getting every thing that they’d wish and hoped for; some would end up with nothing and just a bucket full of pain, hate, sorrow, and regret. If people wants to involve themselves in my situation then go, I’m not going to stop you but don’t put it in my conscience.
I may not look as happy as I should be; one point of argument, after the movie "Wedding Date" it wasn’t really helping on my part because the love of my life is somewhere that I can’t go to. He doesn’t want me there. I miss him terribly and all I could do is just wait for him and try to be more understanding. I do long for him; I desire to see his face, to see his smile, to be with him wherever he is. If only he’d let me in, I’d try to make him feel happy. Give my love a massage or something; give comfort and let him know that things are good. I told my friend that I know my situation very well... its just that the situation doesn’t have any specific emotion for it so I’m just plain.
He then told me that he envies me or rather admires me that I can be so cold and so detached at times when it is needed but still friendly enough not to ignore him.
thepoet – Here I go again...calling you...everyday. Would it be wrong to say that I’m not being cold to myself or being cold to my heart? Would it be wise to say that I was wrong to wait for a few more days, weeks, or months? I’m still waiting my love... just like I promised or have you forgotten.
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