Wanting more from life

Making a decision that will set the course of your whole life is a big thing and this is what we have to deal with. Life is a gamble but this is nothing like a casino. If you’ve been dealt with a bad set of cards you can’t bluff unless you want to deceive yourself.

I cannot tell a lie that my life within this month is like a roller coaster. Ups and down and most of the time loops that could make me scream and puke at the same time. It’s not a fun ride, I might add, but it’s the ride that I chose.

I wanted to be something that I’m not but, then again, it wouldn’t be me. I want to be brave enough to endure and pass all obstacles in such breathless motion. In other words, breeze through them like it’s nothing. I know that it’s wrong to think that I can handle everything. Pride is one adversary that we need control as it is also connected to one’s self-esteem.

My self-esteem is a little below average. I had to fight my way to get people to recognize me. Maybe that’s one reason why I love the anime, “Naruto.” I know I can be stronger but to have no one to recognize my strength, I’d feel so useless. Now that I’ve found friends, I know I can be strong because they are there to help me; some of them, to guide me. And this is one thing that I want more than my life.