When you lose something...
..That’s when you’d realize their worth.
Prologue: My dad used to tell me that whenever I’d leave the house I’d tell them where I’m going. So that when anyone looks for me they’d know where to find me. I often get scolded when I was young by my dad if he finds me not at home and no one knows where I am. I guess they care too much for me. Ever since then, I’ve gotten used to ask my brother or friends or anyone who’s special to me on where they are and what they are doing because I’m just concern. Then again, sometimes people would feel irritated whenever I ask. They kept telling me that I’m too nosy. “Alright,” I said to myself. “Sorry for being too caring for you folks. I shall not ask again.” And that was a long time ago. I stopped asking neither telling them where I am and what was I planning to do.
One bad habit that I got from my dad is that I take more time with my friends than to those who really matters the most. Some people would take pride on not telling that they were wrong or got on the wrong foot. If only it’s like a console game that you can just restart everything from the first scene and make it right, I will. Now, I am pouring my heart out into the world, telling people about my regrets because I don’t know how to reach him anymore. I am at a loss.
Most of the time, I’m a slow thinker. I don’t usually think of the situation that’s at hand sometimes and I often feel bad whenever I do get to thinking about what had happen and that I missed the chance to make them right. So today, it got me thinking my boyfriend used to ask me where I am and what I’m doing and this was last year. I kind of got him feeling bad about asking me these things so then he stopped asking. (nyerk! Parang naging ako.) I wanted to feel that I am needed and at the same time that I can be strong without him. I guess, I was just pretending on being too strong.
Then I became too clingy as he said to me and that I have changed. He’s too busy with work. No time for himself. No time for even to say “Hi”
“Do you really love him? Or need him?” a friend asked me while we were talking through yahoo.
I said to my friend, “both.”
Right now... I don’t know if I do need him but I know that I do love him. So I guess that’s it. Sorry ah... tao lang po ako.
Prologue: My dad used to tell me that whenever I’d leave the house I’d tell them where I’m going. So that when anyone looks for me they’d know where to find me. I often get scolded when I was young by my dad if he finds me not at home and no one knows where I am. I guess they care too much for me. Ever since then, I’ve gotten used to ask my brother or friends or anyone who’s special to me on where they are and what they are doing because I’m just concern. Then again, sometimes people would feel irritated whenever I ask. They kept telling me that I’m too nosy. “Alright,” I said to myself. “Sorry for being too caring for you folks. I shall not ask again.” And that was a long time ago. I stopped asking neither telling them where I am and what was I planning to do.
One bad habit that I got from my dad is that I take more time with my friends than to those who really matters the most. Some people would take pride on not telling that they were wrong or got on the wrong foot. If only it’s like a console game that you can just restart everything from the first scene and make it right, I will. Now, I am pouring my heart out into the world, telling people about my regrets because I don’t know how to reach him anymore. I am at a loss.
Most of the time, I’m a slow thinker. I don’t usually think of the situation that’s at hand sometimes and I often feel bad whenever I do get to thinking about what had happen and that I missed the chance to make them right. So today, it got me thinking my boyfriend used to ask me where I am and what I’m doing and this was last year. I kind of got him feeling bad about asking me these things so then he stopped asking. (nyerk! Parang naging ako.) I wanted to feel that I am needed and at the same time that I can be strong without him. I guess, I was just pretending on being too strong.
Then I became too clingy as he said to me and that I have changed. He’s too busy with work. No time for himself. No time for even to say “Hi”
“Do you really love him? Or need him?” a friend asked me while we were talking through yahoo.
I said to my friend, “both.”
Right now... I don’t know if I do need him but I know that I do love him. So I guess that’s it. Sorry ah... tao lang po ako.
Comments
Do I make any sense?
I need him because I love him. but then again.. if he doesn't want to see or talk to me, why should I let myself be in pain and fight for his love?
maybe I'm a old romantisist, a masuchist, or rather a martir. I'm still giving it time. Right now, I need to occupy that empty space with good friends who cares. Who would give them their time to me as I give mine to them...and not just Yahoo Messanger.