Don't be afraid of Changes
It was 12 midnight and I'm missing what I usually do on weekends. Make web pages for clients; tinker the macromedia flash program; Write stories; update my blog; and just hang around my friends in Ragnarok; missing the mp3s that I used to listen in my computer.
I, once again, looked at the time and thought that there's something missing. And that's my midnight snacks. Went down from my brother's room (that used to be my room), then walked to my own room and looked for my keys and wallette. When all of a sudden, I'd start hearing pitter-patters over the roof. It's raining again; I took my old coat, a green and tan colored windbreaker that my half-brother gave me as a gift when I was in highschool, and walked down to the gates.
Looking outside, the rain was just a drizzle and no need for an umbrella. So, I walked to the convinient store for about two to three blocks away from the house and bought my usual snacks. The moment I finished buying and got out of the store, the rain started to grew heavy. I still didn't mind it and walked slowly back towards my house; Thoughts in my head starts to linger.
The house - the house that I grew up in since kinder; The house that sheltered the whole family since I could remember; now, it is almost empty (in my part, anyway). Only one cat left inside the house and a dog, who is already getting old. I miss my other cats, but they are dead now. Only pictures of them in my brother's computer are what's left of their memories.
My brother's not home as usual. Staying at his girlfriend's place in Malabon, along with the girl's family. My parents, living in a different city, which I haven't seen for months now. Maybe I should visit them later. Then worry about this project that I need to submit tomorrow.
I can't sleep, knowing that this house is almost empty of what used to be filled with warmth and love. Now, it feels like a boarding house. Paying the monthly bills; Work on week days; Go out on week ends or just bumm around while surfing the internet; looking for clients; talk to my web group at the mailing list;
There has been a lot of changes in my life and this is one of them. Should I make myself comfortable on living on my own and try to boost back my career or start thinking of settling down. (heh) settling down (shakes head). How'd that come by in my head when there's no one to settle with?! I still don't hear anything from 'him', maybe I really should stop hoping. Recalling the song my friend sent me, it makes me sad. I still miss 'him'.
My thoughts finally snapped back when I felt the drops of rain quickly fell down from my forehead down to my nose (dripping and felt so cold). My house is near. No need to panic, I thought. Turning the key from the gate as it opened, the dog of my aunt was sleeping; The garage - empty; no cars parked inside anymore since the gate is now hard to open because of the building that was constructed next to us leaned on the house with a few centimeters. You could see the crack over the white wall for proof of that.
I thought, we should sue that owner and ask for money for the damages he had caused. Then again, getting a lawyer would also cost and might end up giving more money than getting any. I walked back to my brother's room and here I am...
-- Ranting --
I miss my gawd damn PC!! It's more than two months and its still not fixed. I don't have time and the money to get it fixed. I'm glad that my brother's letting me use his computer but I can't play my games in here either for the fact that whenever I start my RO Client it does something with the keyboard.
Yes, this computer that my brother is using is old; very old; because it's my old PC. I don't know what's really causing this computer's keyboard to malfunction but the keyboard is wireless along with the mouse. When I play too long the keyboard just stops typing... then sometimes the computer hangs up. the heck.
All I could do is just surf the internet. This atleast gives me time to update my blog once again. One thing why I miss my computer is that I'm used to multi tasking and such with complete apps for making web designs. In my brother's computer the dreamweaver crashes. (heck I don't even use dreamweaver anymore, I use editPlus) since my brother doesn't let me install anything and there's no frontpage (darnnit... no front page) I had to resolve to NOTEPAD! weeeeee... hard coding to ITS FINEST.
I timed the start on designing my blogger... at one o'clock in the morning.. and it's just now that I finished designing a VERY SIMPLE design. GAH! five hours. [/...] five hours... I used to make designs this simple in less that five hours. Again (ranting) my brother's PC is all whacked.. this keyboard, I mean. Whenever I ctrl+c a text and pressed alt+tab. it erases the copied text and does a printscreen. whattheheck!? Then sometimes when I type too fast the other keys won't show.
such a migrane this is. Then there's the mouse... whenever I don't move the mouse for a few seconds it goes onto hibernation/stand by (my gulay!). I have to move it (rather i'd like to strangle it) more than three times to make it move.
anyway.. this is just a rant.
I, once again, looked at the time and thought that there's something missing. And that's my midnight snacks. Went down from my brother's room (that used to be my room), then walked to my own room and looked for my keys and wallette. When all of a sudden, I'd start hearing pitter-patters over the roof. It's raining again; I took my old coat, a green and tan colored windbreaker that my half-brother gave me as a gift when I was in highschool, and walked down to the gates.
Looking outside, the rain was just a drizzle and no need for an umbrella. So, I walked to the convinient store for about two to three blocks away from the house and bought my usual snacks. The moment I finished buying and got out of the store, the rain started to grew heavy. I still didn't mind it and walked slowly back towards my house; Thoughts in my head starts to linger.
The house - the house that I grew up in since kinder; The house that sheltered the whole family since I could remember; now, it is almost empty (in my part, anyway). Only one cat left inside the house and a dog, who is already getting old. I miss my other cats, but they are dead now. Only pictures of them in my brother's computer are what's left of their memories.
My brother's not home as usual. Staying at his girlfriend's place in Malabon, along with the girl's family. My parents, living in a different city, which I haven't seen for months now. Maybe I should visit them later. Then worry about this project that I need to submit tomorrow.
I can't sleep, knowing that this house is almost empty of what used to be filled with warmth and love. Now, it feels like a boarding house. Paying the monthly bills; Work on week days; Go out on week ends or just bumm around while surfing the internet; looking for clients; talk to my web group at the mailing list;
There has been a lot of changes in my life and this is one of them. Should I make myself comfortable on living on my own and try to boost back my career or start thinking of settling down. (heh) settling down (shakes head). How'd that come by in my head when there's no one to settle with?! I still don't hear anything from 'him', maybe I really should stop hoping. Recalling the song my friend sent me, it makes me sad. I still miss 'him'.
My thoughts finally snapped back when I felt the drops of rain quickly fell down from my forehead down to my nose (dripping and felt so cold). My house is near. No need to panic, I thought. Turning the key from the gate as it opened, the dog of my aunt was sleeping; The garage - empty; no cars parked inside anymore since the gate is now hard to open because of the building that was constructed next to us leaned on the house with a few centimeters. You could see the crack over the white wall for proof of that.
I thought, we should sue that owner and ask for money for the damages he had caused. Then again, getting a lawyer would also cost and might end up giving more money than getting any. I walked back to my brother's room and here I am...
-- Ranting --
I miss my gawd damn PC!! It's more than two months and its still not fixed. I don't have time and the money to get it fixed. I'm glad that my brother's letting me use his computer but I can't play my games in here either for the fact that whenever I start my RO Client it does something with the keyboard.
Yes, this computer that my brother is using is old; very old; because it's my old PC. I don't know what's really causing this computer's keyboard to malfunction but the keyboard is wireless along with the mouse. When I play too long the keyboard just stops typing... then sometimes the computer hangs up. the heck.
All I could do is just surf the internet. This atleast gives me time to update my blog once again. One thing why I miss my computer is that I'm used to multi tasking and such with complete apps for making web designs. In my brother's computer the dreamweaver crashes. (heck I don't even use dreamweaver anymore, I use editPlus) since my brother doesn't let me install anything and there's no frontpage (darnnit... no front page) I had to resolve to NOTEPAD! weeeeee... hard coding to ITS FINEST.
I timed the start on designing my blogger... at one o'clock in the morning.. and it's just now that I finished designing a VERY SIMPLE design. GAH! five hours. [/...] five hours... I used to make designs this simple in less that five hours. Again (ranting) my brother's PC is all whacked.. this keyboard, I mean. Whenever I ctrl+c a text and pressed alt+tab. it erases the copied text and does a printscreen. whattheheck!? Then sometimes when I type too fast the other keys won't show.
such a migrane this is. Then there's the mouse... whenever I don't move the mouse for a few seconds it goes onto hibernation/stand by (my gulay!). I have to move it (rather i'd like to strangle it) more than three times to make it move.
anyway.. this is just a rant.
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