If I were a balloon
I'd be soaring high up in the air but then again, I have this rope tied to my neck and I feel like I'm going to choke from it.
Or maybe I already am...
Sunday, July 25. I was at my parents' house in Balintawak, Quezon City. The last haven that I can run for... I made a promise to my brother and I broke it because of my selfishness. I wanted someone to stay by my side even though it should not be the case and that had my brother in an uproar. I used to live on my own; used to stand up on my own; used to carry myself properly. But lately, I feel like a kid again. My job, from what others say... it is a dream job. I work in a gaming company and get a few perks out of it. To me, it is alright... its good (to say the least). I have been a web designer half of my entire life and I didn't think that I'd be happy doing anything else.
My mom gave me a cat stuff toy the moment I arrive; really fluffy; really adorable; and a trinket, it is a small like chiming clock organ with the melody of Für Elise; the only piece that I could play in the piano; the only piece that my I used to play when we still had a piano. There was a celebration for my mom since it was her birthday last Friday. My dad got mad when I didn't greet my mom that morning for her birthday they thought I forgot...but the truth was I was sleeping half the morning; got tired from the night before. I sent my mom a message through SMS. Like what I usually do...greet her and thought of going to visit my mom when I get the time.
The Party. I was late, as usual. My cousins were there having a game of Mah-jong with my mom. I never had the interest on playing that game. It felt silly and old school for my taste. My older cousins' off spring were there playing with their toys...and the moment they heard my voice.. they quickly ran to me and asked to confirm if I were indeed a Game Master. I told them, somewhat the truth...since I cannot lie to them and then they asked me to play with them on the play station.
Looking at the kids having fun and with smiles that are so real, my thought starts to linger. I'd be turning 26 soon and I'm still living in an old house and I'm earning half of the amount that I used to earn. Yes, HALF of the amount that I used to earn because I had two jobs back then. Although, I neglected my health and I had to stop. I couldn't keep up my 2nd job as a web consultant while I work almost ten hours in a company that the president abuses his staff.
I had a sleep over, next to my mom...since my dad is on a business trip. Mom would always try to chat with me but I never really had those times with her when I was young. I'd answer a few question and then silence would creep in. We then watched 'Unleashed' (Jet Lee) on DVD then off to bed.
---
Nice Morning. I woke up with my cellphone ringing and it was half pass eight. My mind started remembering the time I was living there and having that room for myself when I was in college. No TV, no computer, no internet... just books and lots of it. Bed was too soft and my back was aching for a while, I don't move much when I sleep. The morning was good and sweet, my mind's already awake. Mom called me up and went inside the room to see if I am awake.
The kitchen, I had egg and fried rice. My mom asked me if I wanted coffee. I usually say yes but this time, I had no taste for coffee (goodness, what did came over me?! I said no for a free home brewed coffee! gah!). My cyrus (Siamese Cat) had gotten fat and he rarely greets me now but it was a joy, the moment he jumped up from the floor and onto my lap while eating break fast.
That is what I miss the most... having breakfast with my family while watching the morning news.
At the office, a lot of my friends are trying to keep in touch with me which actually feels good. I do feel bad sometimes that I couldn't find the time to say hello to them. Sometimes even on Yahoo they say hello and I never talk back, since I've been busy with work; trying to get lost in my train of thoughts. I'm really sorry about that ^_^;
Thinking of my current situation, am I a balloon? Now that I am somewhat making toys for kids to play; friends keep on pulling my string if I go too high... trying not loose myself. Maybe someday, if someone let go of me I'll have to fly up in the sky... maybe reach heaven for that matter.
Or maybe I already am...
Sunday, July 25. I was at my parents' house in Balintawak, Quezon City. The last haven that I can run for... I made a promise to my brother and I broke it because of my selfishness. I wanted someone to stay by my side even though it should not be the case and that had my brother in an uproar. I used to live on my own; used to stand up on my own; used to carry myself properly. But lately, I feel like a kid again. My job, from what others say... it is a dream job. I work in a gaming company and get a few perks out of it. To me, it is alright... its good (to say the least). I have been a web designer half of my entire life and I didn't think that I'd be happy doing anything else.
My mom gave me a cat stuff toy the moment I arrive; really fluffy; really adorable; and a trinket, it is a small like chiming clock organ with the melody of Für Elise; the only piece that I could play in the piano; the only piece that my I used to play when we still had a piano. There was a celebration for my mom since it was her birthday last Friday. My dad got mad when I didn't greet my mom that morning for her birthday they thought I forgot...but the truth was I was sleeping half the morning; got tired from the night before. I sent my mom a message through SMS. Like what I usually do...greet her and thought of going to visit my mom when I get the time.
The Party. I was late, as usual. My cousins were there having a game of Mah-jong with my mom. I never had the interest on playing that game. It felt silly and old school for my taste. My older cousins' off spring were there playing with their toys...and the moment they heard my voice.. they quickly ran to me and asked to confirm if I were indeed a Game Master. I told them, somewhat the truth...since I cannot lie to them and then they asked me to play with them on the play station.
Looking at the kids having fun and with smiles that are so real, my thought starts to linger. I'd be turning 26 soon and I'm still living in an old house and I'm earning half of the amount that I used to earn. Yes, HALF of the amount that I used to earn because I had two jobs back then. Although, I neglected my health and I had to stop. I couldn't keep up my 2nd job as a web consultant while I work almost ten hours in a company that the president abuses his staff.
I had a sleep over, next to my mom...since my dad is on a business trip. Mom would always try to chat with me but I never really had those times with her when I was young. I'd answer a few question and then silence would creep in. We then watched 'Unleashed' (Jet Lee) on DVD then off to bed.
---
Nice Morning. I woke up with my cellphone ringing and it was half pass eight. My mind started remembering the time I was living there and having that room for myself when I was in college. No TV, no computer, no internet... just books and lots of it. Bed was too soft and my back was aching for a while, I don't move much when I sleep. The morning was good and sweet, my mind's already awake. Mom called me up and went inside the room to see if I am awake.
The kitchen, I had egg and fried rice. My mom asked me if I wanted coffee. I usually say yes but this time, I had no taste for coffee (goodness, what did came over me?! I said no for a free home brewed coffee! gah!). My cyrus (Siamese Cat) had gotten fat and he rarely greets me now but it was a joy, the moment he jumped up from the floor and onto my lap while eating break fast.
That is what I miss the most... having breakfast with my family while watching the morning news.
At the office, a lot of my friends are trying to keep in touch with me which actually feels good. I do feel bad sometimes that I couldn't find the time to say hello to them. Sometimes even on Yahoo they say hello and I never talk back, since I've been busy with work; trying to get lost in my train of thoughts. I'm really sorry about that ^_^;
Thinking of my current situation, am I a balloon? Now that I am somewhat making toys for kids to play; friends keep on pulling my string if I go too high... trying not loose myself. Maybe someday, if someone let go of me I'll have to fly up in the sky... maybe reach heaven for that matter.
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