Looking from where I walked

I found some of my old backup file, I found logs of conversations through yahoo messenger and other different IM’s that I used. Most of the conversations that I had with ‘him’ started from me. Some and less often were from ‘him’. Archives from my cell phone conversations from him talking to me in Japanese. Should I stop reminiscing? It doesn’t hurt much anymore but it still saddens me on what happened. How did it fade? Was it my fault? No one really knows.

Loving someone, it doesn’t have to be so hard and forgetting someone is? How ironic it is to think about such things. He’s the one who taught me how to be more mature on things and not to be too emotional. Sorry to say that and be all sexist but (after all), I am just a girl who wished to be loved by someone she loves.

I know it happened before that someone I fell for stopped loving me. The first one was that he met another girl who he thought is more perfect than I am.

Now, I am looking what is in front of me – my carrier; my friends; my family; and someone who is very special right now. No, he’s not my boyfriend (yet). I don’t want any commitments right now. The one who’s taking care of me right now has shown so much love that I actually haven’t felt from the rest (maybe it’s the fact that I made him promise that I’ll let him take care of me).

So here’s to the near future of my entire existence.

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