Admit One

Admit One

One admitting to you that they are sorry for they did wrong is one of the most cherish-able acts one can have. I know I have done something that would make other people disappointed but I do try to say sorry and try to make up for it.

It was yesterday in the office that got me really agitated that I almost had an emotional outburst. I was working really hard at that time, with coding HTMLs, CSS, and JavaScript for an invisionboard skin; cutting images to make it really fit. I admit that I’m not really good at making skins. As if, like I know the codes from the back of my hands but I do try my best since that is were I am good at. (Web designs and coding, I mean)

Have you ever had those moments that you were in the zone while doing something that is really important to you? That you do not wish to be disturbed at all, unless it is VERY important? I was in the moment; I already have that ‘ump’ for my momentum to work and code straight without stopping. A few hours more my head started to hurt really bad and that I feel like I’m about to burst a vesicle.

Right there and then... a stuffed toy of a ‘poring doll’ came flying in almost hitting me on the head but instead it knocked down my speakers and almost hit my Grande sized coffee that I bought from Starbucks.  

“BOOM!” (What the fuck! I thought)

It startled the hell out of me and as I turned around to look for the one who threw it. It was from my immediate boss. He was aiming for my other officemate who is standing a few feet away in front of my computer. My boss’ face was somewhat in a crazy mood but also I saw that moment when he looked like he really mean it that he sort of wanted to hit someone with that ‘poring doll.’

I turned back to face my computer and held up my coffee and quickly shouted, “if my coffee and PC gets messed up, someone’s going to pay!” Still tried to have that sense of humor but deep inside it really scared me, seeing his face so serious of trying to hit somebody as at first I thought was me, making me think “what the hell did I do wrong?” A few more second he started to throw another stuff toy at our direction.

The sense of having that “professionalism” in work ethics had lost my mind, since it was the day after our boss had a talk with the department that he seems to be unhappy of our output and that the quality of our work is no longer acceptable. To justify things, I have exerted so many things at work that I’d take a few hour after six to finish or at least work more on the project so it’ll reach the deadline and there were only a few times that I had filed an OT slip. That time, my boss looked at me and said that he’s no longer happy of how I work that I’m losing my edge. Hell! Giving us projects twice/thrice as many as before with deadlines overlapping and still expect a job well done, I’d call myself a wonder woman.

Back to my story, I’d like to ask who’s being childish now. I’m not saying that I’d really quit the job but just a word saying “sorry” from my boss, at that moment when he threw that stuffed toy almost like top speed, will be good enough for me.

“Sorry about that doll almost hitting you and that it wasn’t really meant for you.” Something like that will suffice. I went out of my station and had a walk outside the building...sort of looking for a breather and an outlet to have my small emotional ‘outburst.’