A pat on the back?
When a boss pats you on the back, what will you think? Or rather slap you on the back with a piece of notebook while you’re working and walk away like nothing happened? Others here in the office are telling me it’s just his term of endearment. What an endearment?! My patience has once again raising to the top, simmering waiting for the cover to tip off and it’ll all overflow and it will be a mess. Some of it is already leaking out. Lately, I’ve been slowing “production” of designs and tardiness has become a habit. Smoking is out of the question as a promise to my cousin and the replacement is playing RF Online and eating junk foods while playing with an hourly drink of Yakult.
Now that one of my frustration is out of the bag. I still have other problems to sort out. Christmas is coming very soon and I have not yet saved up to buy my loved ones some presents. I’m aching in my heart that I’d be once again feel lonely this Christmas, even though I have my parents and brothers to celebrate it.
The recognition that I wish for from some people will or may not come and it is something that I should accept. Making it a big deal would only give one depression, disappointment and unhealthy relationship with people. I’m almost at the door step of this phase and I need something to cheer me up. A huge bag of Lays? A huge bowl of instant noodles? Two liters of Cola? A big can of Pringles? Or a hug from someone dear to me? The latter part may not be possible anytime soon because my relatives don’t do that kind of thing. We don’t hug and pat each other’s back. The one cousin that I used to have something like that... well... she and I barely talk anymore.
The rich existential content of the teachings from my mentors has slowly evading my thoughts and together combined with an extensile tongue. This might cause me great deal of burden and might cost me my job. True as it may, as I would not let myself be scared. We have our freedom of speech. Yet, we hide our tails because of the society that are dictating our moves. We can’t just be all jumping on protests or be all moral. Sometimes we need to put our pride down just to survive...even for a day.
For what’s it worth, I’d still like to keep my dignity intact. If it’s kiss up some high ops to have a good position in a company, I’d rather not. I’m fine and cozy here from where I am (for the mean time that is.)
Now that one of my frustration is out of the bag. I still have other problems to sort out. Christmas is coming very soon and I have not yet saved up to buy my loved ones some presents. I’m aching in my heart that I’d be once again feel lonely this Christmas, even though I have my parents and brothers to celebrate it.
The recognition that I wish for from some people will or may not come and it is something that I should accept. Making it a big deal would only give one depression, disappointment and unhealthy relationship with people. I’m almost at the door step of this phase and I need something to cheer me up. A huge bag of Lays? A huge bowl of instant noodles? Two liters of Cola? A big can of Pringles? Or a hug from someone dear to me? The latter part may not be possible anytime soon because my relatives don’t do that kind of thing. We don’t hug and pat each other’s back. The one cousin that I used to have something like that... well... she and I barely talk anymore.
The rich existential content of the teachings from my mentors has slowly evading my thoughts and together combined with an extensile tongue. This might cause me great deal of burden and might cost me my job. True as it may, as I would not let myself be scared. We have our freedom of speech. Yet, we hide our tails because of the society that are dictating our moves. We can’t just be all jumping on protests or be all moral. Sometimes we need to put our pride down just to survive...even for a day.
For what’s it worth, I’d still like to keep my dignity intact. If it’s kiss up some high ops to have a good position in a company, I’d rather not. I’m fine and cozy here from where I am (for the mean time that is.)
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