In between dreams

Yesterday, I went to my aunt's 70th birthday and there I mingled with my other relatives from my mother's side. I told one of my cousin, Analynn, that I'm once again single. She then commented that I look better and happier just being single. If only she knows, I am happy whenever I'm close with the people I love and care about. I am happy when I am here with them and with my parents. Where I can call "home". Now, I'm back at my old place. And I am once again as lonely as I once were. Keeping myself busy with games, with work, and with things that would make me forget that I am alone...

My brother lives with me by most of the time, I don't feel that he's there. He and I are very different. We have different views on life and interest only just a few conversations about games and that is it.

At the party, Analynn told me how her boyfriend propposed to her. He propposed at the Cafe Ysabel. The most romantic restaurant in Manila and known for couples that are getting married or getting asked to marry.

I am so happy for the both of them... tho, deep inside... I feel like I want my own happiness. I am not jealouse of them or anything, but I just want to be happy as well. Though, I am not the type who force herself to fall in love because I just wanted to. It takes time.

After a while, my nephews who are only in grade school were asking for my attention and letting me hug them. It's been a while since I gave so much love for them, and I missed it terribly. I think I need more of this... but it's hard to visit them from where I live. I just hate it when I have to travel two hours and walk along hundreds of people that I know before I reach their place. I guess, I have to do better than this.