Animosity in Riddles
Last Friday, I just couldn't look at him straight in the eye and I couldn't talk right knowing what I know makes me filled with hate once again. He tried to act normal, as if nothing bad ever happened between me and him.
What friendship was there, now, is no longer here. From the things he said to me that I could not bear to handle without my madness starting to peak. I can be rational when I want to but I have my principles. I do not wish to be plastic but I guess, I could just have to be civilized. From that night, I hope now that he knows how much he is worth in my book and that it “N o t h i n g”.
Not even the past year of being friends with him could undo the things that happened nor soften this heart of mine. They say forgive and forget, right? Maybe time will tell though, for now... I cannot say for sure. The bad side of me is that if one made a grave mistake on hurting me deeply, my anger for that person goes ten folds.
I feel bad on myself that I thought, I'd would not affect me anymore...although, he was five feet away from me last friday night. My hand was starting to clinch and make a fist while I was at my station. My other side it taking a hold of me... hence I walked out and made a run to my nearest friend. My friend's embrace was gentle and warm enough to keep me calm. I made a promise to myself that I should not hold a grudge but my hate is overpowering. From that I wanted to fall into tears. I do not wish to hate. I want to forget, but how..? my world is so small that his crows is hanging by the edge of my doorsteps.
Do I judge too quickly? Now that I've been hurt. Do I have to walk once again on a single path of loneliness. Funny, to see and to think that I used to be a loner, as other people see and say about me. Although, I do seek comfort with friends and loved ones. My fear of getting anyone close to me takes out the best in me. I could see others reaching out to be my friend and I am this li'l girl whose trust is lost.
A few weeks ago he did say sorry but I do not feel anymore for him. I've got hurt by a friend who I thought was a good friend. Just because of that, I could not see myself hanging around within his crowd. I don't want them to see me being all cynical or rather, I do not want them to be anywhere close to me where they'd find me false and hurt me like what he did.
Still, I'm glad that even now... I have a number of friends who understands my complexity. As my friend back in college got so fond of trying to see how I tick; how my mind works; all I could say was that, "don't try to understand everything of who I am or what I am. If you're a friend, you'd be there for me and as I will be there for you."
What friendship was there, now, is no longer here. From the things he said to me that I could not bear to handle without my madness starting to peak. I can be rational when I want to but I have my principles. I do not wish to be plastic but I guess, I could just have to be civilized. From that night, I hope now that he knows how much he is worth in my book and that it “N o t h i n g”.
Not even the past year of being friends with him could undo the things that happened nor soften this heart of mine. They say forgive and forget, right? Maybe time will tell though, for now... I cannot say for sure. The bad side of me is that if one made a grave mistake on hurting me deeply, my anger for that person goes ten folds.
I feel bad on myself that I thought, I'd would not affect me anymore...although, he was five feet away from me last friday night. My hand was starting to clinch and make a fist while I was at my station. My other side it taking a hold of me... hence I walked out and made a run to my nearest friend. My friend's embrace was gentle and warm enough to keep me calm. I made a promise to myself that I should not hold a grudge but my hate is overpowering. From that I wanted to fall into tears. I do not wish to hate. I want to forget, but how..? my world is so small that his crows is hanging by the edge of my doorsteps.
Do I judge too quickly? Now that I've been hurt. Do I have to walk once again on a single path of loneliness. Funny, to see and to think that I used to be a loner, as other people see and say about me. Although, I do seek comfort with friends and loved ones. My fear of getting anyone close to me takes out the best in me. I could see others reaching out to be my friend and I am this li'l girl whose trust is lost.
A few weeks ago he did say sorry but I do not feel anymore for him. I've got hurt by a friend who I thought was a good friend. Just because of that, I could not see myself hanging around within his crowd. I don't want them to see me being all cynical or rather, I do not want them to be anywhere close to me where they'd find me false and hurt me like what he did.
Still, I'm glad that even now... I have a number of friends who understands my complexity. As my friend back in college got so fond of trying to see how I tick; how my mind works; all I could say was that, "don't try to understand everything of who I am or what I am. If you're a friend, you'd be there for me and as I will be there for you."
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