It's not my World
I still couldn't let go of the fact that I can never please my father when I'm in front of him. How could I believe that my cousin is saying the truth that my father is proud of me when I'm not around?
Ever since I could remember, all of the efforts I did to please him on everything that I can do. I wasn't good enough. My plates in my classes, whenever he sees it he would say to me, "if I were your teacher, you'd fail."
I didn't stop there; I tried everything all that I have. I became active in the student council; I helped my colleagues start an art group in college; I became a college scholar. But not even once did he give me a pat on the back.
Last Friday night when he picked me up from work, he started telling me about the digital art contest that I didn't entered. He was bickering that some kid won the contest. He was saying that I should have tried to enter. I could have won, he said. I didn't have the passion to join in the first place because I've already made up my mind that I'm no longer going to try to please him.
I tried to believe in things…I used to believe in myself that I could do great things. My father wants me to challenge everything... put myself to the test. And I tried for a couple of times, pushing myself to its limits; even tried to challenge him; he wished me to compete for my worth in this world. Make a name for myself. How can I, when I tried so hard to make him see? So what if I've been interviewed in digitalTour a few years back because of my website that's now dead after three years keeping the name – thepoet; my name was mentioned in MTV, printed in the Culture Crash Comics and some other published books; I showed him those and then what did he told me – "Not my world."
"Time and time again, I lose everything. Its funny but it never changes. Love is gentle, but love is unkind." – Stretch Princess
Ever since I could remember, all of the efforts I did to please him on everything that I can do. I wasn't good enough. My plates in my classes, whenever he sees it he would say to me, "if I were your teacher, you'd fail."
I didn't stop there; I tried everything all that I have. I became active in the student council; I helped my colleagues start an art group in college; I became a college scholar. But not even once did he give me a pat on the back.
Last Friday night when he picked me up from work, he started telling me about the digital art contest that I didn't entered. He was bickering that some kid won the contest. He was saying that I should have tried to enter. I could have won, he said. I didn't have the passion to join in the first place because I've already made up my mind that I'm no longer going to try to please him.
I tried to believe in things…I used to believe in myself that I could do great things. My father wants me to challenge everything... put myself to the test. And I tried for a couple of times, pushing myself to its limits; even tried to challenge him; he wished me to compete for my worth in this world. Make a name for myself. How can I, when I tried so hard to make him see? So what if I've been interviewed in digitalTour a few years back because of my website that's now dead after three years keeping the name – thepoet; my name was mentioned in MTV, printed in the Culture Crash Comics and some other published books; I showed him those and then what did he told me – "Not my world."
"Time and time again, I lose everything. Its funny but it never changes. Love is gentle, but love is unkind." – Stretch Princess
Comments
It doesn't matter if it's in their world or not... what matters is that it's in YOUR world.
I didn't go to the traditional artist world coz I know I can't match up with my dad and that's not my passion.