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I know the feeling of missing someone but what is the feeling of being missed? I am numb for far too long to even know how to appreciate people when they say "I miss you". The thought of not caring? Caring for someone? Or was it caring for myself. I didn't think about that only when Jay/Iro said something to me a while back. Still pushing the thought actually...
Anyhoo...
At the outing, I missed someone for the thought of needing someone at my side to protect me. In my time spent at the outing, I don't know if I really had any friends. Though, I was glad that most of them didn't ignore me. That would definitely kill me. To be ignored that is my worst fear. That my existence will be nullified. So I yearn for attention and went out at the beach to join them. I did my best on all the games that the office had thought of and it was fun in a way. My boss was cheering at me even if he was in a different team.
After dinner, I had a few games of billiards. I had my moments of getting some of the guys' attention by making those difficult shots. Though, I do wonder at times. Why do I only get those good shots when they are looking. Bleh! Am I trying too hard to be appreciated? Within those days that I spent not one miss call or text from my parents on how I am doing. But then again, I didn't tell them that I went away.That night, they took out all of the alcohols; Beer; Gin; Tanduay; Absolute Vodka (Citrus, Vanilla, and Kurat). Heck, I don't even know what a kurat is?! I had a few cocktails (mud slide, etc.) and 2 shots of each vodkas. I wouldn't even call them shots since I had to take three gulps from that cup they passed around. In less than ten minutes, my head's already spinning.
My brother finally pestered me to send in some images that he'll use as a theme for my cellphone. I used the one in my friendster. I do guess that he misses my interaction as I used to be the one who approach him whenever I'm bored and got nothing else to do. For a long time now, I never made much "reaching-out" with him.
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